Change was happening in my household and it was happening really fast! We were preparing for a new baby, someone put in a cash offer the very first day we listed our house on the market, we purchased a bigger home to suit our growing family, and my toddler was finally starting to use words we could actually understand. Life was changing for us with new and exciting things, but why wasn’t I happy? Isn’t change what we all look for when we feel like we are stuck in a rut? The advice when you feel stuck is to change your environment, change your clothes, change your hair, and perhaps even change your career. The newness of change is supposed to re-energize you and make you go after life with vigor! The truth for me was that the new changes, even though they were good, scared me! A lot was changing at the same time and I felt like I was thrust into everything new all at once. I remember sitting in a new house with a growing belly feeling restless and anxious. I couldn’t relax and feel at ease. What is it about change even if good; that makes some of us feel uneasy?
After talking to God and taking an honest look at my feelings, I realized that it all boiled down to control and lack of trust. I didn’t feel like I was in control of anything. Before all the changes, I knew what to expect. Even though my husband and I were ready to move, I was comfortable where I was. I knew the neighborhood, I know the routes really well, and my son and I had a routine we would follow. Although we wanted another baby, it really scared me when I got pregnant as soon as I did. I spent time teaching my toddler how to identify words, shapes, colors and etc., but when I saw his little mind actually grasping concepts and becoming more independent, my mind jumped to the future that one day he wouldn’t need mommy and daddy anymore and it saddened me. Life was familiar and comfortable and I liked things just the way they were. I liked being in “control” (or so I thought) because I knew what to expect each day. Sure, we Christians say things like, “God is in control”, but do we really believe it?
Honestly, we aren’t in control of anything, we just think we are until life happens to us. One example of life happening was the day after we moved into our home, Hurricane Harvey hit my city as well as my hometown. I felt helpless after getting texts and calls about family members and friends who were trapped inside their homes with rising waters. No matter how many help lines I called, or how many posts I put out on FB, I couldn’t do anything but wait. Suddenly the gravity of change and lack of control weighed down on me and realized how human I really was. I wasn’t trusting God to direct my path and I wasn’t putting my complete faith in Him. I was relying on my own comfort and “strength” to handle things. The reality of Harvey brought everything back into perspective, because it reminded us all that no matter how hard we try, we can’t control life. We simply must trust God who holds our lives in His hands. Change is inevitable as long as we live. Our comfort is in the fact that God’s Word is unchanging and He is the only source that we can rely on. (Hebrews 13:8) His Word says that we will never leave nor forsake us. (Hebrews 13:5) That’s where our comfort should come, not in familiarity, but in Him. Are you dealing with the uncertainty of change? Are you having a hard time adjusting to your new normal? I encourage you to lean on the unchanging Word of God and find great comfort in Him alone! He will direct your every step.